Starting daycare can be a stressful time for families. Maybe you have to start your child in daycare earlier than you would like, maybe the timing is right but you are questioning all sorts of other things.
I remember feeling ready for our son to start daycare, we were excited that he would have. thatsocial connection but I was terrifed at the same time. What if he hated it? What if he didn’t eat? What if he cried all day long? What if he didn’t sleep? Am I making the wrong choice? I was terrified. I felt so conflicted between guilt and at the same time the excitement that this could be so great for him.
I remember the tears I cried after that first drop off. I remember the wave of relief when I received a picture of him smiling at snack time and after a few weeks the happiness I felt when we picked him up but he didn’t want to leave.
One factor that added an extra level of stress is that at 14 months we finally had a great sleeper- and I was worried that daycare would totally unravel that. Spoiler alert: it did not but things got harder before they settled into place! Here are a few things to consider when your little one is starting daycare for the first time or at a new daycare.
Choosing a daycare provider
– Do they allow kids individual nap times or is it all kids together for a specified duration?
2) Ask to see where they’ll be sleeping.
– Is the sleep environment dark, cool, boring and safe?
– Is it a shared space with other children?
* The closer the sleep environment resembles that of your home the faster they will adjust! That being said, don’t stress if it is different, your little one will adjust nonetheless.
Keep in mind that a daycare’s top priority is the safety of not one but multiple children. So many times, the environment has to be conducive to safety (which might mean frequent check ins and a room that is not entirely dark/ no white noise so they can hear).
3) Are they able to accommodate specific requests in regards to baby’s naps?
– Daycare providers are great at helping little one’s fall asleep. Sometimes the intervention used to support to sleep is more than you may use at home.
– Remember the daycare provider will be trying to get multiple babies to sleep at once (so go easy on them!) but you can discuss your approach and ask them to stick to it if possible. For example, if your child settles independently with few bum pats after the nap time routine, communicate this to the provider.
Communicating with your daycare provider
Routines:
Remember to control what you can. Maintain your routines at home and discuss what naptime routine and putdown looks like in the home. Most daycare providers will be receptive to hearing what works at home- and the more consistent we can keep things, the better.
Schedules:
Do not be afraid to advocate for your child’s sleep needs.
Work with your daycare provider to see if they can maintain your child’s current sleep schedule. All too often I see babies being forced to one nap when they aren’t ready and this can make sleep challenging. Some providers will accommodate individual sleep schedules (as this means happier babies!).
If your daycare cannot do that, take a breath and again focus on what you can control: sleep at home. Your child will adapt even if it takes a bit longer.
Associations:
Positive sleep associations are a great way to help cue to your little one that sleep is coming and prepare them. If your daycare provider is open to utilizing them, it is worth getting the same ones for daycare (ex: sleep sack, white noise, lovey – if 12 months +).
When it comes to unhelpful sleep associations (specific to your child), make sure you communicate them. If you have a little one that settles independently at home, then ideally they will do the same at daycare. You can ask that they refrain from rocking or feeding to sleep if that is something that you have recently shifted in your home.
What if…
My baby has to be supported to sleep at daycare?
It’s okay! Habits your child learns at daycare won’t necessarily transfer over to home. Most children are usually able to distinguish between different environments and can continue to sleep independently at home.
My baby has never taking a nap longer than 30 minutes?
If your baby is struggling with short naps, consider my Short Nap Masterclass to help you get on track before you start daycare!
My baby doesn’t sleep well and falls asleep in the car ride home?
If you can, it is preferred to try and keep your little one awake in the car ride and plan for an early bedtime. This will allow for them to make up the sleep the didn’t get during daytime hours by not having to push bedtime too late due to a cat nap.
If your child had really poor sleep and a cat nap is necessary, that is fine- just ensure that they have enough wake time when the get home to rebuild their sleep pressure for overnight sleep.
My baby’s night sleep completely derails?
We can often see this when a baby’s sleep schedule is not honoured (ex: too much daytime sleep or not enough).
1) If your child is sleeping too much at daycare we can sometimes see babies that are hungry overnight or split nights occuring due to undertiredness. If this is the case, communicate your concerns with the daycare!
2) Not enough sleep leading to overtiredness. Most common cause is that early transition to one nap. Know that things will get better but it can take some time. Plan for either a cat nap in the car or early bedtimes (like 6PM). Have a plan in place and maintain consistent response overnight knowing that the night wakings are likely due to overtiredness.
Brainstorm with your daycare provider ways in which you can increase daytime sleep for your little one. And remember, they are on your team, they also want well rested kids!
To keep in mind
Pick a daycare your are comfortable and confident with. Trust and safety is important.
Babies and children often adapt way better to new situations than we give them credit for. I honestly believe that the right daycare provides a huge benefit for children and their development and socialization.
Always remind yourself: things might not be perfect but it will be okay.
Should your family be struggling with the daycare transition, book a free sleep evaluation or an Ask Me Anything Call so I can support you in finding that balance.
Rosalie Kassen (she/her)
Founder of Plume Sleep Solutions, Registered Nurse and Paediatric Sleep Consultant.
I work with families all over the world to bring healthy sleep habits and rest back into their homes. Stop simply surviving the parenthood journey and start thriving!